


Partner

by S_L_Martin



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 08:25:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4297608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S_L_Martin/pseuds/S_L_Martin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>an interpretation of the changes in the Reese/Finch relationship over the years</p>
            </blockquote>





	Partner

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers through the end of Season 4

"Detective Riley is my partner."

"Didn't see that coming."

Harper Rose's response to Harold's description of John was mildly amusing, perhaps intentionally so. Yet in Harold there was also a slightly bitter twist in the gut.

Looking at John as the comment landed, Harold saw something he had allowed to slip away; something he had failed to take hold of, hardly allowing himself to acknowledge it was there until it was gone.

John's devotion in their first years together had radiated from him with a glow that left Harold speechless. "Someone new," he had called Harold, when Joan had asked who was looking after him now, and the raw admission, the affection in John's voice, whispered into Harold's ear from a mile away, had taken his breath away.

Harold had told himself that he was being ethical, caring even, by taking in the intensity of John's feelings without projecting the same. He was John's benefactor: he had created a situation where John could not help but feel intense gratitude - where John owed him literally everything. The power imbalance was too large, Harold reasoned, for him to insert his own feelings or desires into such a situation, and take advantage of the feelings his own manipulations had created in John.

Now he saw that at some point, that impulse had become simple cowardice. With a remarkably open heart, John had repeatedly told Harold that he valued him above everything else: ordering him away and thanking him as Harold drove to save his life; refusing to save the numbers without Harold; trying to frighten him off the rooftop to prevent him dying when John's bomb vest exploded; guarding Harold's privacy against his own curiosity when Harold was high on Ecstasy; even honoring Harold's private spaces after discovering them all with the tracker he had planted on Harold's glasses. And to all of these declarations Harold had responded with the same reserved generosity. He saw now that he never risked his own heart in the same way: never told Reese he couldn't do this without him, or that he looked forward every day to simply seeing John, sharing a cup of tea or a walk in the park. It had been enough for Reese, until one day it wasn't, and Harold realized that he had lost something enormous. 

There must have been a moment, after one too many unreciprocated overtures, one too many secrets unshared, that John's heart had first begun to look for something else, and for someone else. He had reached out to Joss Carter, and when Harold's machine had allowed that too to be taken from him, he had turned away from Harold completely for a while. Though he had eventually returned to protecting Harold, and allowed Harold to return to giving him gifts, the declarations came less, as did the walks in the park, the trips to the movies, the shared breakfasts. Harold saw it all again when Rose made her comment, and allowed the pain to burn there in his gut for a few moments as a reminder of his own mistakes.

~~

Months later, the process had continued to its logical conclusion. John had pursued a connection with Iris Campbell which had eventually become romantic. Just as he had done before with Joss Carter, John tried pathetically to insert Iris into his and Finch's story. Harold listened as John offered to read Iris in on everything he was doing - as if he could simply add her to the team when even his asset Fusco and Harold's own fiancee had been kept brutally in the dark.

Harold contemplated whether, even if he and John survived, this might mean the end of their partnership. When John showed up to help Harold save The Machine or possibly die trying, Harold was almost surprised, and when he offered John a chance to back out, he found he meant it a little more than usual.

In return, John gave him one last declaration, "There's no place I'd rather be, Harold." One last time, John had opened his heart and said that he'd rather die with Harold than live without him.

Harold decided then that if they survived, John would hear the same and more from Harold. And let the chips fall where they may.


End file.
